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The sex was so good, even the neighbors had a cigerette.

I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me!

Some people are alive only because it is illegal to kill them.

I used to have a handle on life...but it broke.

Beer : it's not just for breakfast anymore.

I am not a complete idiot...some parts are missing.

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools!

God must love stupid people, He made so many of you.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

Finish your beer - there are sober people in China!

Ever stop to think...and then forget to start again?

If I gave a shit, you would be the first person I gave it to.

Welcome to Shit Creek - sorry, we are out of paddles!

If you think I am a bitch, wait until you meet my mother!

In some cultures, what I do would be considered normal.

All of me is beautiful....even the ugly,stupid and disgusting parts.

I honor and express all facets of my being -regardless of state and local laws.

What do you do if your man walks out? You shut the door!

Men are all the same - they just have different faces so you can tell them apart.

Bachelor: a man who has missed his opportunity to make some woman miserable.

Not all men are annoying - some are dead