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Male Translations

"I am going fishing."
TRANSLATION: "I am going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety"

"It's a guy thing...."
TRANSLATION: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it and you have no chance of understanding or making it logical."

"Can I help with dinner?"
TRANSLATION: "Why isn't it already on the table??"

"Sure, honey" or "Yes, dear"
TRANSLATION: This means absolutely nothing. It is a conditioned, automatic response to whatever you said that he has probably not even heard.

"It would take too long to explain."
TRANSLATION: "I have no idea whatsoever but I am certainly not about to admit that to you."

"Take a break, honey, you are working to hard."
TRANSLATION: "I can't hear the game over that damn vaccuum cleaner."

"That's interesting."
TRANSLATION: "Are you STILL talking??"

"You know how bad my memory is!"
TRANSLATION: "I can remember the entire theme song to 'F TROOP', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, the vehicle identification numbers to every car I have ever owned and the complete line up of every baseball team that ever was but... I forgot your birthday."

"I was just thinking about how much I loved you and I bought you these roses."
TRANSLATION: "The girl that was selling them on the corner was a total babe and she smiled at me."

"I cut myself....just a big deal."
TRANSLATION: "I have actually severed a limb but I will bleed to death before I admit that."

"I can't find it."
TRANSLATION: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands so I am completely clueless."

"You know I could never love anyone else."
TRANSLATION: "I couldn't afford the child support if you left me."

"You look terrific!"
TRANSLATION: "Oh my God! Please don't try on another outfit..let's just go already!!!"

"I am NOT lost..I know exactly where we are."
TRANSLATION: "We are going to be so late...if we ever arrive at all."