A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain.
"Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor.
"You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the woman.
"What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more
The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled,
"Ow, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled,
"Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe, "Ow, even
THAT hurts", she cried.
The doctor looked at her thoughtfully for a moment and asked, "Are you
a natural blonde?" "Why, yes," she said.
"I thought so," said the doctor, "You have a broken finger."
A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the
first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote
this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN
In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a
soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened
it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"
The lady was somewhat curious, but she said nothing. In the third
room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The
painter wrote this down, walked over to the window, opened it and
yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"
The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?"
The contractor replied, "I'm sorry, but I have a crew of blondes
laying sod across the street."
Legend has it that there is a bar in New York where, in the Ladies
Room there is a very special mirror. If one stands in front of the
mirror and tells the truth, one is granted a wish. However, if one
tells a lie - - *poof* - - you are instantly swallowed up by the
mirror, never to be seen again.
Sooooo, A redhead of questionable looks walks into the Ladies Room and
stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm the most beautiful
woman in the world." - - - *poof* The mirror swallows her.
Next a rather large brunette stands before the mirror and says, "I
think I'm the sexiest woman alive." - - - *poof* The mirror swallows
Then an absolutely gorgeous blond comes in and stands before the
mirror and says, "I think...." - - - *poof.*
Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw
a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat. The driver
blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like
that that give us a bad name!" To this the other blonde replied "I
know it, and if I knew how to swim I'd go out there and drown her."